Hi. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the pigeon is filthy. So I could use your help, because the pigeon needs a bath. That is a matter of opinion.

What a kidder! I don’t really need a bath! I took one last month. I think it was last month. “clean, dirty” they’ re just words. Right? I feel clean. Maybe you need a bath! Yeah… when was the last time you had a bath?

Oh! That was pretty recently.

Life is so short. Why waste it on unimportant things, Like taking a bath.

What smell?

I don’t smell anything. And if I do it’s a very normal smell for a pigeon. You know in some places it is very impolite to bathe. all of those flies buzzing around me are purely coincidental.

P.U. Yuck! Let’s get out of here! Take a bath dude.

OKEY, FINE! If it means sooo much to you, I’ll take a bath!

Whoa. I’m not going to like this one bit. The water is too hot. Too cold. Too lukewarm. Too hot. Too wet. Too cold. Not enough toys. too many toys. Too deep. Not deep enough. Too cold. No, it’s too hot again. Too reflective. That is still too hot. Well I guess this is OK.

Splash…

Hey this is fun. Wash, wash, wash, washyyyy. La la la la singing in the tub. This is the life. I love bubbles. Look at my wrinkly toes. Hello, hello. How are you? I’m fine. I’m a fish. I’m a fish.

10 hours later…

Can I stay in the tub forever?